From oracle-admin@cs.indiana.edu Mon Sep 5 22:59:32 2005 Received: from moose.cs.indiana.edu (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by moose.cs.indiana.edu (8.12.11/8.12.11/IUCS_2.68) with ESMTP id j863xVsq024058; Mon, 5 Sep 2005 22:59:31 -0500 (EST) Received: (from daemon@localhost) by moose.cs.indiana.edu (8.12.11/8.12.11/Submit) id j863xUnr024056; Mon, 5 Sep 2005 22:59:30 -0500 (EST) Date: Mon, 5 Sep 2005 22:59:30 -0500 (EST) From: Internet Oracle Message-Id: <200509060359.j863xUnr024056@moose.cs.indiana.edu> To: oracle-list@cs.indiana.edu Subject: Internet Oracularities #1390 Reply-To: oracle-vote@cs.indiana.edu X-Face: )/f9dPAX/dU$1Z!U(/?A PiIJvIOtcN@L.>6,2OKd."T#S7b*{feRf.Kns23^P9.Ak{GdWWv]0*1E}RJ)_idU:(5VkN*_+bB kyrnLfC12B>V/q=z32:05`EcAd.!z#3k]h)O!ZU^E"f`@),(2WT X-Planation: X-Face can be used with www.cs.indiana.edu/ftp/faces === 1390 ================================================================= Title: Internet Oracularities #1390 Compiled-By: Steve Kinzler Date: Mon, 05 Sep 2005 22:59:19 -0500 (EST) To find out all about the Internet Oracle (TM), including how to participate, send mail to oracle@cs.indiana.edu with the word "help" in the subject line. ("Internet Oracle" is a trademark of Stephen B Kinzler.) Let us know what you like! Send your ratings of these 10 Oracularities on an integer scale of 1 ("very bad") to 5 ("very good") with the volume number to oracle-vote@cs.indiana.edu (probably just reply to this message). For example: 1390 2 1 3 4 3 5 3 3 4 1 1385 42 votes 1aha4 24add 2aj92 0a9g7 047eh 188eb 29ka1 1dha1 0aea8 12bhb 1385 3.4 mean 3.1 3.7 3.0 3.5 4.0 3.6 3.0 2.9 3.4 3.8 --- 1390-01 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Mike Nolan The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: >

Oh great Oracle who knows all about fine and not so fine > dining.

What's for lunch?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } A big ol' bowl of plain text. --- 1390-02 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: "Leo L. Schwab" The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Yes, some of the new operators in Perl6 are rather obscure, } I'll try to give you some pointers: } } "<:" and "::!" are the "mild surprise" and "extreme surprise" } operators (handy mnemonic - pronounce them "raise eyebrows" and } "blink twice and gasp"). Used for a sort of assertion or } pre-condition checks on input, or as a shorthand for some common } FORMAT idioms. } } "!&" evaluates the expression you meant to evaluate, but couldn't } recall where you had put it. If _that_ expression includes "-`!", } then it means "no, not this expression, the other one". Be careful } not to evalute this in an array context or, well, try it and you'll } see what I mean. } } "*" now does double duty as division. Sadly this was forced upon } the developers after MicroSoft revealed their patent on "/". It } remains for the courts to decide if the same is true for Unix } directory paths. } } "^-" has no definition yet, although it is in the specs. The } designers are pretty sure that they do want it, but can't put their } fingers on the reason why. Current suggestions range from } simplifying the options for un/pack, to automating updates from } CPAN. } } "#?" is to comments what ":?" is to control flow - a shorthand so } terse that future readers shall not easily comprehend the meaning } of the text. It's use is strongly preffered over English. } } You owe the Oracle a proposal for lazy evaluation in Parrot. --- 1390-03 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Klone (aka Daniel V Klein) The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Wise Oracle most insular and open-minded, > > Should I buy a new backpack for the upcoming school year? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } That depends on your plans for the future. If you're considering a } career as an accountant, attorney, civil servant, or important-looking } businessman, you should buy a briefcase. If you want to be a popular } guy who gets to date all the hot chicks, buy a sports bag. If you want } to grow up and be a computer nerd, buy a PDA and forget about paper } books altogether. There's another type of nerd; they can read Sumeric } and use leather schoolbags. Finally, if you just want to be a kid in } school for the near future, and don't want to worry about what comes } next, by all means go get yourself a new backpack. Make sure you pick } the right brand and colour. } } You owe the Oracle five marbles, a dead frog, and a dirty magazine. --- 1390-04 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Christophe The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Dear Oracle: > > "I saw the news today, oh boy..." > > The headline said that jetliners would be getting missile defenses, > and that testing of a laser system would begin soon. > > Won't that be dangerous for people and animals that live near airports? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } [ The Oracle shuffles on to stage wearing granny-glasses } and a bright blue band leader's outfit. ] } } I read the news today oh boy } About a lucky plane protected from grenades } And though the news was rather sad } Well I just had to laugh, had... } } I saw the laser slash, oh boy } It blew the lights out of a car } I didn't notice if any lives were saved } A crowd of people stood de-haired } They'd never been lazed before } Nobody was really sure } If they should sue the House of Lords. } } I saw another laser beam today oh boy } An airplane opened up just like before } A crowd of people ran away } but I stood and looked } as the people they burned and shook } } I'd love to turn that puppy on. . . } } Woke up, fell out of bed, } laser beam zipped past my head } Found my way downstairs and luckily I ducked, } If I'd stood up then I'd be The Late. } Found my coat, they burned a hole in my hat } Made the bus in seconds flat } Found my way upstairs and the room began to smoke, } Somebody spoke and then they started to scream. . . } } I read the news today oh boy } Four thousand holes in 400 passengers } And though the holes were rather small } The airplane made them all } Now they know how many holes it takes to fill up Monty Hall. } } I'd love to turn that puppy on. . . } } [ The Oracle stands and bows. Crowd goes wild, until the } laser light show starts -- then panic ensues ] } } You owe the Oracle a tin-foil hat and a walrus. --- 1390-05 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Tim Chew The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > What's more important: length or width/diameter??? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } As you've been told countless times: it's not the size that matters, } but how you use it. The most important thing is that it fits your } technique, your speed and your confidence. } } That being said, of course a minimum length is essential. Too short, } and you'd only be laughed at. But too long isn't very practical, so } somewhere in between is just fine. I must say I've hardly ever seen } them too long or too short, so don't worry about that. } } A more important factor is the stiffness. It shouldn't be too soft. If } you hold it upright and the other end just drops back down, it won't } work. Too stiff is not good either, though. A certain springiness is } required for optimal performance. } } To end with, some general remarks: } - Ask a couple of friends if you can hold theirs, and feel how you like } them. } - Don't put the bar too high to begin with. Better start with lower } expectations, and see where you get from there. } - There's only so many times you can do it on a day before you start to } hurt. } } Keep these recommendations in mind, and you'll be a great pole-vaulter. } } You owe the Oracle a nice, long, thick, hard one. --- 1390-06 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Klone (aka Daniel V Klein) The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Oracle, whose wisdom enlightens the lowly multitude, > > Why when the eye has just seen the light, does the half light look > dark to it, and in the same way if it turns from the darkness the > half light look very bright? > > Your humble pupil, > Leo And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } You have asked a good question, deserving of a careful } and thoroughly thought-out scientific answer. For } some stupid reason, though, you are getting a reply } through an incarnation who cannot be bothered typing } in all the stuff that the Oracle knows. You'll have } to put up with the incarnation's misunderstanding } that the light gets filtered through the fog in your } brain, and whatever you see reflects the contents of } your mind, no matter how dense it may be. } } You owe the Oracle a choral rendition of "O Blinding } Light" as originally heard on the Firesign recording, } "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers." You } must sing all parts, SATB, by yourself, in harmony, } quotated. --- 1390-07 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Klone (aka Daniel V Klein) The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > 010010000110111101110111001000000110110101110101011000110110100000100000 > 101110110111101101111011001000010000001110111011011110111010101101100011 > 001000010000001100001001000000111011101101111011011110110010001100011011 > 010000111010101100011011010110010000001100011011010000111010101100011011 > 010110010000001101001011001100010000001100001001000000111011101101111011 > 011110110010001100011011010000111010101100011011010110010000001100011011 > 011110111010101101100011001000010000001100011011010000111010101100011011 > 01011001000000111011101101111001111011110110010000111111 And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } You're monkey can't find the remote and the frog has lice? } } Well, i suggest telling your monkey to get off his ass and change the } tv by hand and buy your frog some lice killing shampoo. } } You owe the oracle a better binary-to-english translator. --- 1390-08 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: "Mark Lawrence" The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > I just started seeing a man who i'm interested in, at the same time > i've found another man i might be interested in. I've told the first > and he seems jealous, joking about the second yet he persists making > it seem like he's really jealous. I would like to see this second man > as i don't feel that my relationship is exclusive with the first, but > i don't want to hurt the feelings of the first man. What should i do? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Dearest Supplicant, } } The time we've spent together--you asking questions and my answering } your questions--has been a blessing. I have, however, been living with } this burden and now regret to tell you that I have been seeing another } supplicant. Know that it is not a reflection on you, your questions } are not any less interesting than they were when you sent that first } "ask me." It is just that our relationship has grown apart. } } Sure I miss the grovelling and the tributes. It has made me feel less } Oracle-like over the years. Even my ZOTs don't seem to have the punch } they used to have. But constantly ridiculing me behind my back to my } friends isn't what has driven this relationship apart. } } So I hope you and Jeeves are happy together. I happen to know he can't } do anything without a certain little blue pill. And even with the } medication, you'll still be doing most of the work. } } Signed, } The Oracle } } p.s. You owe the Oracle all his Clash CDs back. --- 1390-09 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: "Mark Lawrence" The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164 > 062862089986280348253421170679821480865132823066470938446095505822317253 > 594081284811174502841027019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659 > 334461284756482337867831652712019091456485669234603486104543266482133936 > 072602491412737245870066063155881748815209209628292540917153643678925903 > 600113305305488204665213841469519415116094330572703657595919530921861173 > 819326117931051185480744623799627495673518857527248912279381830119491298 > 336733624406566430860213949463952247371907021798609437027705392171762931 > 767523846748184676694051320005681271452635608277857713427577896091736371 > 787214684409012249534301465495853710507922796892589235420199561121290219 > 608640344181598136297747713099605187072113499999983729780499510597317328 > 160963185950244594553469083026425223082533446850352619311881710100031378 > 387528865875332083814206171776691473035982534904287554687311595628638823 > 537875937519577818577805321712268066130019278766111959092164201989380952 > 572010654858632788659361533818279682303019520353018529689957736225994138 > 912497217752834791315155748572424541506959508295331168617278558890750983 > 817546374649393192550604009277016711390098488240128583616035637076601047 > 101819429555961989467678374494482553797747268471040475346462080466842590 > 694912933136770289891521047521620569660240580381501935112533824300355876 > 402474964732639141992726042699227967823547816360093417216412199245863150 > 302861829745557067498385054945885869269956909272107975093029553211653449 > 872027559602364806654991198818347977535663698074265425278625518184175746 > 728909777727938000816470600161452491921732172147723501414419735685481613 > 611573525521334757418494684385233239073941433345477624168625189835694855 > 620992192221842725502542568876717904946016534668049886272327917860857843 > 838279679766814541009538837863609506800642251252051173929848960841284886 > 269456042419652850222106611863067442786220391949450471237137869609563643 > 719172874677646575739624138908658326459958133904780275900994657640789512 > 694683983525957098258226205224894077267194782684826014769909026401363944 > 374553050682034962524517493996514314298091906592509372216964615157098583 > 874105978859597729754989301617539284681382686838689427741559918559252459 > 539594310499725246808459872736446958486538367362226260991246080512438843 > 904512441365497627807977156914359977001296160894416948685558484063534220 > 722258284886481584560285060168427394522674676788952521385225499546667278 > 239864565961163548862305774564980355936345681743241125150760694794510965 > 960940252288797108931456691368672287489405601015033086179286809208747609 > 178249385890097149096759852613655497818931297848216829989487226588048575 > 640142704775551323796414515237462343645428584447952658678210511413547357 > 395231134271661021359695362314429524849371871101457654035902799344037420 > 073105785390621983874478084784896833214457138687519435064302184531910484 > 810053706146806749192781911979399520614196634287544406437451237181921799 > 983910159195618146751426912397489409071864942319615679452080951465502252 > 316038819301420937621378559566389377870830390697920773467221825625996615 > 014215030680384477345492026054146659252014974428507325186660021324340881 > 907104863317346496514539057962685610055081066587969981635747363840525714 > 591028970641401109712062804390397595156771577004203378699360072305587631 > 763594218731251471205329281918261861258673215791984148488291644706095752 > 706957220917567116722910981690915280173506712748583222871835209353965725 > 121083579151369882091444210067510334671103141267111369908658516398315019 > 701651511685171437657618351556508849099898599823873455283316355076479185 > 358932261854896321329330898570642046752590709154814165498594616371802709 > 819943099244889575712828905923233260972997120844335732654893823911932597 > 463667305836041428138830320382490375898524374417029132765618093773444030 > 707469211201913020330380197621101100449293215160842444859637669838952286 > 847831235526582131449576857262433441893039686426243410773226978028073189 > 154411010446823252716201052652272111660396665573092547110557853763466820 > 653109896526918620564769312570586356620185581007293606598764861179104533 > 488503461136576867532494416680396265797877185560845529654126654085306143 > 444318586769751456614068007002378776591344017127494704205622305389945613 > 140711270004078547332699390814546646458807 And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Log files from your Radius server. } } And you thought you could keep the Oracle running around in circles. --- 1390-10 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: "Paul L. Kelly" The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Buttery Oracle, I am browning nicely in the moderate oven of your > wisdom! > > I just went to our work cafe and bought what I thought was a blueberry > muffin. Wasn't I surprised to learn that I had misread the sign on > a tray of blubbery muffins! They were so good, a real eye-opener; > no wonder the Japanese are so keen on whaling. I'd love to make > some of these for the kid's lunches - can you give me the recipe? > How do they get the blubber so sweet? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } You should be aware that you cannot just hunt down any whale, kill it } and use it for blubbery muffins. The whales killed by the Japanese end } up in far inferior meals and snacks, and whaling should be abolished as } soon as possible. } } The blubber used for blubbery muffins is obtained in a very special } way. Let me give you the complete recipe: } } Blubbery muffins } From the Oracular Cookbook, 39th edition. } } INGREDIENTS (200,000 servings): } } 1 whale calf } 328,500 l milk } 164,250 kg cane sugar } 2,920,000 kg lollypops, fudge, toffees and other assorted candy } 2,080 kg all-purpose flour } 170 kg baking powder } 42 kg salt } 1,700 eggs } 42 l vanilla extract } 2000 l milk } } DIRECTIONS: } } 1. On a moderate fire, slowly warm 450 l of milk. When lukewarm, add } 225 kg of cane sugar. Stir until dissolved. Feed sugared milk to } whale calf. } 2. Repeat step 1 every day for two years. } 3. Feed whale 1 ton of candy each day, for another eight years. } 4. Remove blubber from whale. } 5. Preheat oven at 190 degrees Celcius. } 6. Grease muffin tins with bit of blubber. } 7. Beat remaining blubber until soft. Add one egg and a splash of milk } and stir well. Repeat until all eggs and milk are thoroughly mixed } with blubber. } 8. Mix together flour, baking powder and salt. Add to blubber mixture } and beat firmly. } 9. Divide batter over muffin tins. Place in oven and bake for 25 } minutes. } } Instead of removing all the blubber at once, which would seriously harm } the poor whale, you can also have some of it surgically removed. This } has the added advantages of giving you slightly more practical } quantities of muffins, which can be useful if you don't have a large } oven.